The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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