I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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