Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
