Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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