i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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