well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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