my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
