He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
