Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
