three words: i give head
three words: not that well
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The air was thick with penises
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
