i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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