just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
