We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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