He told me they were just razor bumps!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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