PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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