is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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