I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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