JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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