Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
