i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
