drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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