you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
