your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
