after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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