dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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