i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
