at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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