She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
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