He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Two words: blizzard sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
