Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
