Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
