We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
