No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
