There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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