you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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