very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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