i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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