What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I need a burrito and a hug.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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