Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
