oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His hands were made for my vagina.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
