i think my mom watched the whole time
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
