Sry I called you an 8
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
