Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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