is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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