Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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