Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize