so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
