Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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