Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
