just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
