I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
