Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
