literally had 100 drinks last night.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize