we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
