My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
