i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
