Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize