She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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