You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
