are you still at the devil's house?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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