i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
