I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
