Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
