...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
