there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it penis luge time yet?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
