This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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