I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
