yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
