The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
operation have a gay friend backfired
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
