Reggie can tackle my bush.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
